Thursday, March 25, 2010

The Journey {part 3}

The Journey {part 1}
The Journey {part 2}

During Vacation Bible School last year (2009), Mike was teaching Sarah’s class (entering 3rd grade) and I was teaching the most adorable group of (entering) 1st graders.  I think it was somewhat bittersweet but our discontentment had really begun to interfere with our ability to worship and our attendance at church with our children.  We were sure we were making the right decision to find another church.

Then, on Wednesday, August 5th, while I was in crafts with my darling 1st graders, Mike came and pulled me out of class and told me that Sarah had made her decision to receive Christ as her Savior during the time we set aside for the older grades (3rd – 6th) to hear the gospel message and have the opportunity to respond.  We stood in the hallway and cried tears of joy together.  It was a sweet sweet moment.

Later that morning, as the four of us were trying to leave after VBS was over for the day, our pastor pulled me aside.  He informed me that our children’s pastor, who had only been at the church for about 18 months, was leaving and asked me if I would serve in the coming months on a search team for a new children’s pastor.  I told him I would have to let him know.

Then, that evening, as Sarah and I were talking about the day, she asked, “So who will baptize me on Sunday?”  The child was excited.  We were excited for her.  And yet, we were once again conflicted.

There we were.  We were at a crossroads and were being forced into a position to make a firm decision.  We had been sure that we needed to move on and find the place God had for us elsewhere.  But in one day, He put things in motion to turn it around on us. 

I began to question if a move would take away from any of Sarah’s excitement over her decision and in any way derail her walk.  I didn’t want to do that just because I was feeling disenchanted with the church.  I feared that putting uncertainty in her life over where our church home was would just quench what the Holy Spirit had birthed in her.  And as I sought godly counsel from a very few people who knew of the struggles we’d had at the church and with some of the individuals and leadership there, I began to see that maybe my discontentment might be a call to action in staying rather than leaving.  I began to see my discontentment as a gift to possibly bring change rather than a curse that was forcing an exit.

Now, at this point you need to understand that my pastor and I have clashed over issues and I have disagreed with him on a decision he has made more than once in the past which contributed, in part, to my discontentment and disenchantment.  It also was part of what made the decision to serve on this search committee so difficult; I knew it meant working with him in a significant way.  To be honest, for me that in and of itself would likely prove difficult.  But as I prayed and searched, I began to believe that God had put that position before me for a reason.  I wasn’t totally sure what that reason might be, but I began to wonder if my discontentment was supposed to be a motivator for change.

We had a decision to make.  And ultimately, as I told Mike, if we were staying, it was truly going to be a long term commitment.  We were going to be in it for the long haul.  If we were leaving we would have to figure out how to do it without putting a damper on Sarah’s excitement over her decision to follow Christ and be baptized. 

While my pastor said he wanted a decision the following day (Thursday), as you can see, it wasn’t that simple for us.  We prayed and sought counsel before I finally gave him my answer on Friday.


We will continue with this series of posts on Tuesday of next week.  I thought this might be a good point to take a break for a couple of days and do a couple of posts that are a little lighter in nature.